The Wedding Service

Here we attempt to give you an insight into the wedding service and what's involved.
Try not to be too nervous, and enjoy the experience - you will be guided through the service by the Vicar, Priest, or Registrar so even though there may seem a lot to know,
it won't matter if you forget what comes next.

Church of England Wedding
The service is both a religious and civil procedure. You will have to arrange to meet the Vicar of the Parish to get his consent - you can choose the area you want to marry in,
but may need to explain why you feel you have the right to marry in that particular parish (parents married there, lived in the area when you were young etc). The Vicar will help you through all the necessary form filling and registrations.

Book your date at the earliest opportunity to ensure you have the best chance of getting the date you want - obviously Saturdays and summer dates are extremely popular, but you may also have to allow for the many religious events in the Church's calendar.

Preparations
Prior to the day itself you will have to meet with the Vicar to discuss arrangements.
He will help you choose hymns and readings, and it is not unusual to have at least one rehearsal for all involved prior to the day. The Vicar can also advise on the service sheets - remember to print enough for all your guests plus a few extra. He can also organise the organist and choir if required, and will sometimes help you arrange the Church flowers.

The Service
All service costs are paid in advance, sometimes by the Groom, but traditionally by the Best Man. (don't forget the fee for reading the Bans in the parish of the other partner).

• The Bride and her Father (or whoever has been chosen to give her away) walk down the aisle to join the Groom and Best Man - usually accompanied by the Wedding March.
• The Vicar will give a small introduction and ask if anyone present knows of any reason why the marriage should not take place.
• The Vicar ask who is giving the Bride away. The Bride's Father (or other) places her right hand in the Vicar's hand and steps back to his place in the first pew.
• The marriage vows are taken - first by the Groom, and then by the Bride.
• The Vicar asks who has the rings - the Best Man places them on the Bible and they are blessed by the Vicar.
• The Groom places a ring on the Bride's finger and (optional) the Bride then places aring on the Groom's finger.
• The Vicar pronounces the couple Man & Wife, followed by "you may kiss the Bride". ( At this point the couple are religiously married, but not legally - not until the register is signed)
• The Vicar will read a short sermon and there will be several hymns. The couple may also take Holy Communion if previously arranged.
• The couple and the witnesses sign the registry whilst hymns or music are played - this is traditionally done in the vestry, but it is increasingly popular to arrange
  with the Vicar to do this in front of the assembled congregation).
• The newly married couple make their way in procession, followed by their attendants, out of the Church.

Catholic Wedding
The Catholic Church has strict rules on marriage and the issues of divorce - the Church has not on the whole accepted remarriage or divorce. You can only remarry within the Catholic faith if your first marriage has not been recognised by the Church - this would need to be discussed with the Priest.
If you are intending to marry in a Catholic Church, there are a few rules you must adhere to - you and your partner must be Roman Catholics, the Priest will ask you a few questions regarding your religious outlook, leading to keeping the faith within your marriage and bringing up your children as Catholics.
It is strongly recommended that you book your date well in advance as the Catholic Church has many religious events in it's calendar and may place restrictions at certain times of year.

Preparations
As with the Church of England, you will need to arrange to meet the Priest to discuss arrangements. He will help you choose hymns and readings, and it is not unusual to
have a couple of rehearsals.

The Service
The Service can be broken into two parts - 1. The marriage itself, which is a religious act uniting husband and wife, but also including the legal and civil aspects. 2. If both partners are practising Catholics, there can be a Mass where both receive Communion.
(In 'mixed' marriages, the Mass is omitted, but the service remains the same.)

• The Bride and her Father (or other person chosen) walk down the aisle to join the Groom and Best Man, usually accompanied by the Wedding March.
• The Priest will give a short introduction followed by reading from the Bible - the readings are chosen by the couple and read by someone of their choice.
• A chosen hymn is sung followed by another reading (psalm)
• The Priest will now read a chosen gospel followed by a sermon.
• The Groom & Bride exchange vows - religious then civil.
• The Priest blesses the rings and the couple.
• Prayers are read.
• Mass is taken with another blessing and Communion.
• A final Blessing.
• The couple and their witness' sign the registry whilst hymns or music are played.
• The happy couple make their way out of the Church.

Token of Thanks
The Church does not usually charge a fee for the Priest's time, which does include some legal paperwork on your behalf. However a small 'donation' of £80 - £100 in an envelope is usually given to the Priest at the end of the service by the Bride's Father. The flowers used to decorate the Church are left as a token of thanks. Don't forget to invite him to your reception!

Civil Weddings
There are several reasons to have a Civil Wedding, the main one being that you have no religious inclinations at all. One or both of you may have been previously married, and whilst you can seek the Church's permission to marry, this may be refused leaving a civil ceremony as your only option.
A Registrar can only refuse to carry out a wedding on legal grounds.

Preparations
After choosing a date, you need to decide if the ceremony will be held at a Register Office or a 'Licensed Venue'. Civil Weddings are becoming more popular (especially since the advent of licensed venues, so again you need to book as early as possible.)
Check with the Registrar what information and which documents are required (Birth Certificates, Decree Absolute etc.) to give notice of the marriage - they will only accept originals, not photocopies.
Both of you will have to go in person to pay the registration fee.

The Civil Venue
If you are getting married in a civil venue, you may wish to discuss music choices
with the Registrar, how many guests are allowed, and if there is an area for photos -
(area set aside in the grounds etc.)
Remember - you can make this as formal or as casual as you like - full traditional wedding dress and suits, smart suits or casual - there are no set rules.
If you are marrying in a Registry Office, it is important to remember the Registrar may have several wedding that day - ensure your guests arrive about 10 minutes beforehand and note if there is an 'in' and an 'out' door. You will often be asked to wait outside until called for.

The Service
The service is the same regardless whether taking place in a Registry Office or Licensed Venue.
The Registrar will ask to see the Bride and Groom beforehand to confirm various details. After this the guests will be invited in and the service can begin.

• You will both be asked that you are legally allowed to get married.
• You will then exchange vows and (optional) rings.
• Congratulations! You are now married.
• You are asked to check the registry before signing, and finally your witness' sign.

Civil Partnership
The Civil Partnership Act gives same sex couples the right to acquire the legal status of ‘registered civil partners’. This gives both parties the same rights as married couples regarding taxation, inheritance, pensions etc.

The minimum requirements for a Civil Partnership ceremony is that both parties attend before an authorised Civil Partnership Officer to sign the schedule in the presence of two witnesses. If the couple wish to have a ceremony based around the signing of the schedule, this should be discussed with the Civil Partnership Officer.
The venue can be the local register office, or an ‘approved’ venue. A list of these approved venue will be held at the register office.

Rules for civil partnerships in Scotland and Northern Ireland are slightly different, and these should be check locally before proceeding. Similarly, civil partnerships can take place abroad provided the chosen country has legislation in place - check with the relevant consulate or embassy.

Preparations
After choosing a date, you need to decide if the ceremony will be held at a Register Office or ''approved venue. This can be booked up to 12 months in advance.
Check with the Registrar what information and which documents are required (Birth Certificates, Decree Absolute etc.) to give notice of the marriage - they will only accept originals, not photocopies.
Both of you will have to go in person to pay the registration fee.

Marrying Abroad
Different countries have different requirements. Your tour operator will be able to guide you as to specific requirements and most offer a comprehensive service (allow 10 weeks to process paperwork), but it is important to ascertain the following:

• Establish the required period of residency - usually 3-5 days prior to the ceremony.
• All documentation should be in English. If yours is not, it will be necessary to get an official translation to take along with the original documents.
• Some countries ask for birth certificates, divorce documents etc. to be ‘legalised’ - Check first, then contact the Foreign & Commonwealth Office (www.fco.gov.uk).
• Check which of the following (if relevant to you) are required: passports, birth certificates, Decree Absolute if divorced, death certificate if widowed, proof of change of name by Deep Poll, parental consent if under 18 where applicable, adoption certificate, passport photos, photocopies of which documents prior to travel, original documentation, translations of documents.
• Certain destinations require a letter from the Notary Public stating that you are free to marry, or an Affidavit to prove your single status.
• It is advisable to obtain 2 copies of the marriage certificate